Today I have decided to simplify my life. And I know that as my dear Vincent reads this, he is wondering, “How on earth can Ryan simplify her life any more??! She’s already thrown everything of value away…”
Well, my dear, I have taken it upon myself to delete all the excess, trim the fat if you will. I have canceled two credit cards. Yes, I can feel my credit sagging less under the weight of my college loans, and the IRS is breathing a sigh of relief. I am down to three major credit cards: one for work purposes that cannot be destroyed, my American Express (which I believe I will ask to be buried with some day), and another “Oh horse dung! They don’t take American Express” backup. I am breathing large amounts of happiness-inducing oxygen (if you’ve seen Fight Club, then you know why oxygen would make one happy).
For the record, I have used one of my two former credit cards only once, and the other not at all. But it feels like a huge burden has been lifted out of my wallet…
In any case, you’re now probably starting to wonder what I’m doing in West Virginia. I will tell you (however, this message will self-destruct in 30 seconds – gotta love Inspector Gadget!): I am in training. The primary goal of this week is to learn how to drive really fast. It’s amazing, all those times my mom and dad wouldn’t let me drive their cars because they felt my driving was unsafe, and now I am being instructed how to, well, basically, to destroy cars that get in my way. Oh, and I can do that at speeds up to (and over) 100mph. Good times, no?
Of course, the rest of my training class is here with me, enjoying all the splendor that West Virginia has to offer. We are surrounded by only the best: Cracker Barrel, IHOP, Ruby Tuesdays… All the fried food one can handle!
So you see why I am holed up in my room, with a death grip on the remote control and snacking on Fig Newtons. Oh yeah, did I mention that I’m on medication so I can’t even drown my sorrows? NOW I bet you pity me.
The happy news of the week is that Vincent’s birthday is on Saturday. Oh yes, the big 3-4. My baby is getting to be a man! And he’s even planned his very own birthday bash – a select group of his friends will be attending a fabulous dinner at Morimoto, our most favorite-ist sushi restaurant ever! Now if only I could get there from West Virginia in time… (honey, I’m working on it…)
Hmmm.
And that’s all I have to say for the time being. I guess my light is growing dim…
