Hey guys! So it’s another beautiful and difficult day down here in lovely Glynco, Georgia! I have just finished typing up an affidavit, which is an application for a search warrant, for my continuous case investigation. More fun than a barrel of monkeys, I swear.

If only you too could have the pleasure…

In any case, there is not much happening on the FLETC front today. I just had a four-hour execution of a search warrant lecture, which, let me tell you, is not as thoroughly exciting as it sounds. Lunch was followed by a high risk vehicle stop lecture, and we ended our day with some simulation of interviewing training course thingy. I would explain it to you all, but it’s a big government secret and you’re not all cleared for this kind of data. No seriously, I would have to kill you. And I’m not a terribly good shot. So the process would be slow and fairly torturous.

So anyway, afterwards I went to the gym with my new gym buddies, Jen, Jonathan and George, where I was routinely slaughtered, piece by piece. It all started with a slight ache in my abs due to our workout two days ago, and by the end I could barely stand straight up or lie down on any of the benches to do today’s workout. Somehow I survived though, and I was benching and doing pulldowns like a pro. I am sure that I will be feeling it tomorrow though. Just in time for PT! (i.e. physical training) In fact, the word on the street is that my entire CITP class (usually, our CITP class is broken into two halves for any of the labs or PTs) will have this one instructor, Mr. Madeiro, tomorrow, who is an old military man who likes to run his troops into the ground. For example, if Ms. Banta, our usual instructor, has us run three miles in 30 minutes, Madeiro will have his troops run SIX miles in the same amount of time. He is well known for making his guys do pushups in flee-infested areas (all the guys are complaining of flea bites), and then finishes his classes by really punishing the guys with pushups with your feet on raised logs, or fifty pull-ups, or something else equally painful. Apparently he’s not a treat. So I hope he is not the man in charge tomorrow. Damn the man!

Well, before I get too far off track and into a blind rage, I finished the evening with a nice dinner out with Jen and a girl from the DS BSAC class 71, RJ. We drove out to St. Simons Island and had a nice refreshing meal and some girl talk at this little café. It was wonderful to get out and about, but I am so tired now that I almost wish I had staid home and completed my schoolwork. Well, I do have a whole day off this weekend, so I can probably get everything prepared within the next day or two.

And that’s where things stand for right now. I am still looking forward to Thanksgiving at home with da’ momma, and seeing my Nonnie. I hear I get all the free turkey I can stomach! And that makes Ryan a happy little FLETC girl…no more cafeteria food!

So that’s my story for the time being. There are only 23 days and counting…

One more day done, baby, yeah! Actually, this week is going by wonderfully and quick – I think going home, even if only for a day and a half, was really all the refreshment I needed to keep going, trudging down that FLETC road. I am looking forward to the rest of this course with vigor! (Yeah, and pigs can fly…)

So anyway, today we had some more fun with non-lethal techniques, in which we learned the initial moves for some ground fighting. I think it is one of the few days that I didn’t go home with more than a few bruises. However, I did manage to toss Jen headfirst into the mat and she tried to make me feel guilty all day by complaining about her headache. Ooopsie.

Of course, she returned the favor (sort of) by doing one of the drops completely wrong and landing me right between her legs – a move I wasn’t quite prepared for! I mean, I’ve been calling here my “little spoon” all this time (I’M the big spoon), but I didn’t really think we’d get to public displays of affection so quickly… oooh-wee baby!

I will point out that I wasn’t as tough as some of the other students in our class today. One of the guys took our Radi today, by smashing him into the ground and throwing out his back. We had to clear the room and let all the health unit personnel go inside with all their equipment. A bit of an adrenaline rush, but Radi was walking again within twenty minutes. We were worried for a moment there because the other half of our class has thus far made two guys pass out, cracked one guy’s ribs, and sent another to the hospital. We didn’t want to be compared to the likes of them by having a major injury ourselves. Thankfully, Radi is the picture of health and was able to join us again in our firearms class.

Firearms was interesting today, to say the least. Now our targets actually look like real people and we are practicing behind different types of cover – barrels, cars, wooden scrims…so on and so forth. Next time we do this line of fire, those targets are going to be our instructors and they are going to try to riddle us with paintballs. This should prove to be rather amusing, if not intimidating.

After lunch today we had a rousing class of Questioned Documents (don’t ask; I don’t know what that means either), quickly followed by another round of 4th Amendment. The good news is that we have now completed our entire course on 4th amendment. The bad news is that we have our second legal exam tomorrow. Um, yeah. So now I’m supposed to be studying but I haven’t quite motivated myself into doing that yet. I promise I’ll get there.

Class ended at 4:30PM and then I got to run off to the PTD building (physical training division), where I donned my pretty blue PT uniform (they’re part of the smurf suit ensemble) and played in the weight room with Jen, Jonathan and George. It has been much too long since I last tried to get into a gym. Not that I really enjoy it, but anything that gets me out of this cement prison they like to call a dorm room makes me happy. It was actually quite nice to go out and play with my classmates. I gave them all the sarcasm they could handle and I believe they cracked a few smiles (or something). It’s a gift really…

So now I am back in my room after a fulfilling pasta dinner and I am trying to talk myself into studying for the exam and going to bed early. I think I’ll do that right about now. But I didn’t want to leave you guys out in the lurch again, like I did last week – for those of you who actually read this thing anyway.

Well my dear friends, lovers, comrades in arms, family members, and other assorted beings, I think I am trying to take my leave of you. But don’t you cry. I’ll be back soon enough.

For the time being, just remember that it is only 25 and counting…

I just got back last night from a wonderful and well-deserved weekend back at home in Philadelphia. FLETC has really started to wear on the nerves of the entire CITP 301 class. People are cranky, without sleep, overworked, and fed poorly (after all, cafeteria food cannot really give you all that down-home nourishment you’ve come to expect after living all those years with mommy dearest)…and so on and so forth. I am not too proud to say that I too was one of them – until this last weekend anyway.

In the meantime, this past week found us with three more practical exams – all on the driving range. I aced everything of course, and somehow I managed not to get motion sickness on the Emergency Response Driving (ERD) course. Granted, this was also the test I worried most about because you have to hit all the turns precisely at a certain point, keeping your car on the road, and going about 80-90 miles per hour (did I mention that at this point all the tires are bald???). I only missed one “apex”, which is the point of the turn you have to drive directly over, within two feet of the side of the road. But the grading is all subjective anyway. I figure if you at least finish somewhere around the required 1 minute and 45 seconds, you should just get a 100. But I didn’t. For missing an apex, I got a 95. Yay!

There was also the Non Emergency Vehicle Operation (NEVO) course, which I didn’t think I’d pass because I haven’t had to parallel park since I took driver’s education classes back in high school. However, I actually lost points on backing down a narrow, windy “alley” (i.e. a group of cones that you painfully pretend is a narrow, windy alley). And the kicker? NEVO is actually timed…can someone explain to me why something with “non-emergency” in the name is TIMED???? Hmmmmm…

Well, whatever, I managed a 90 and moved on. 71 and a gun, baby…

The other course was the Skid course, which I think is impossible to fail. You just drive around on a wet track in circles until the instructor remote controls your car into a skid. You simply correct the skid and move on. This goes on for something like 20 minutes, and then you get a 100. End of story.

So that was the most exciting part of last week for ya. Your good friend (lover/child) Ryan is now permitted to take her ERD and NEVO and Skid out into the real world! Watch out!

Last week we also had a run through of our Arrest Warrant P.E., which I am glad to point out was a definite PRACTICE. During our second attempt at getting things right, I was in charge of a suspect who actually ran away… it’s a long story to say the least, but I will notify you all now that I simply had no clue as to what I was doing. The instructors kept looking at me as if this Rambo cop-crap actually comes naturally to people. Ha! That couldn’t be further from the truth.

But in any case, it certainly taught us a good deal about the proper way to conduct an Arrest Warrant and how to treat all the people we encounter when serving one. I now know how to conduct a compliant search of a person! Yay, just what you all were hoping to hear….

On top of that, we had to drive our suspects to the “jail” and book them. Yes, we took fingerprints and everything. It’s all very exciting stuff, I swear. And if I hadn’t just started week 7 down here in the bowels of hell, I’d say that this is about the most interesting learning environment I’ve ever come across.

Let’s see, last week also found us in a physical evidence lab, which is when you’re working as a team at a crime scene, trying to find all sorts of evidence to use in a case against your suspect. I believe my group did an excellent job in the time allotted to us: I was in charge of all the sketches and searching about 1/3 of the room. Then we had to note where all the evidence was found and so on and so forth. Good times…. Proudly I can say that we only missed one or two items in the room, and that was mostly because of time constraints.

Last Thursday was my friend and fellow Scorpio’s birthday. Sacha turned 29 and we all celebrated by making him walk to the G-Bar so we could buy pitchers of beer and, well, complain about still being at FLETC after six weeks (after all, last week it WAS week six). Of course, to warm things up, as soon as our interviewing lab was over, my friend Galo and I walked over to the G-Bar in our business suits and ordered a few rounds – we even treated a few of our instructors to a drink and some witty conversation. We broke for dinner (i.e. a good lining of the stomach to prepare for the coming Sacha celebration), and then returned promptly. See what you’re missing???

I think the only thing I’ve managed to leave out about last week was non-lethal techniques, which is now getting us into how we deal with non-compliant suspects. I am learning all the ins and outs of pressure points, jabs, uppercuts, and so on – basically all the same moves I learned from kicking the crap out of my older brother as a child. Seriously though, having Dan as an older brother certainly primed me for some of the moves, especially as a “suspect.” (In class we practice on one another, one partner is the officer and the other is the suspect.) There is one point at which the suspect tries to grab the officer at a high point (around the shoulders), a mid point (the waist), and then around a low point (i.e. the legs). Happily, I am the only one who managed to pick off my officer 3 out of 3 times. As I was partnered with one of the guys in my class, he has had no relief from the laughter and joking associated with getting your butt kicked by a girl. It amuses me greatly. In fact, they have even donned him a nickname: Out of Role. You see, when one of the role players is hurt, or some of your protective gear falls off (such as a face mask in simunitions), or your gun malfunctions, you call “out of role!” and the scenario stops. So, since I kicked John’s tushie, they now call him Out of Role. How humiliating…for him.

So that was my last week. Tiring, and still fulfilling in a small way. At the very least, it’s another week down. That is one less week I have to be here at FLETC. And that makes Ryan a very happy girl…

Almost as happy as she was this past weekend in Philadelphia. Sorry to all of you who actually live there and did not see me – I thought it best and most restful to spend time with my Vincent…I will be back around the area come December and should be able to find time for all of you then….

In any case, I got my fill of Geno’s cheesesteaks and cheese fries, with a birch beer to boot! And then I had my Campus Epicurean and my Mr. Martino’s…. by the way Catherine, I want you to know that Vincent finally fulfilled his promise of buying me some leather pants – it’s your turn!

Mostly I just relaxed. Vincent was great about that and made everything so easy and convenient. I was able to bathe for hours and I even got a massage! Who knows what sorts of wonderful things that boy will come up with next???

So now I am all sorts of happy and snug as a bug in a rug. This is the most relaxed I’ve felt since my first week here at FLETC. I am sure that a few more days of class will certainly fix that, but I still have Thanksgiving to look forward to… Mmmmm, turkey…

Okay, so, well, I’m running out of steam. 25 days and counting…