Because Tuesday's experience wasn't enough to keep me off of coffee, I have yet again consumed a cup of Caribou Coffee's dark roast of the day. And I have already annoyed the entire staff at work with my babbling, twitchiing, and general airheadedness, so now I'm online to bother the rest of you with my unintelligence.
The thing is, I'm really sick of being poor. So honestly, other than an attempt to stay focused for the better part of the next four hours, buying coffee enables me to feel like I've really made it: yes indeed, I can actually make a two dollar purchase a couple times a week without breaking the bank.
But it's all just an illusion, because honestly, I'm broke. Everyone I know gives me a hard time for never having any "mugger money" on me, but when you live paycheck to paycheck (and I mean this seriously - part of the reason I never go out is because I don't even have the $5 happy hour money), you really don't have the spare change to keep in your purse for safety's sake.
There are the Penn loans to pay back (those bastards! I'll be paying them off for the rest of my life), personal loans, credit card bills, direct-pay health insurance bills, cell phone bills (no home phone though), doctor's bills (because $500 a month for health insurance apparently doesn't do the trick), rent, groceries... And every time I think I'm ahead, I'm not. A whole slew of bills arrive in the mail the next day. Wankers.
So this coffee thing. I'm focused, coiled like a spring, and I'm thinking ahead about 3-4 paychecks. I'm thinking to a time when my new company kicks in the health insurance payments. And I'm thinking of all the cool shit I can buy with that extra hundred dollars. Work clothes. My Amazon.com wish list. New sneakers for running. A new bookcase. Maybe even an ipod. A tea kettle for the office.
And I want to spend that money NOW. I'm itching to whip out the credit cards and make $1000 in purchases.
No wonder why we poor people are so miserable. The things we want aren't even all that preposterous, and yet we still can't afford them.
Ergh, damn you coffee! Just let me return to my normal, bumbling, early-onset Alzheimers self...
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Being an Old Fart isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be
Do you ever wake up in the morning with the realization that you are indeed the lamest person you know? Honestly folks. I was in bed at 9PM last night - read it and weep, that is NINE. PM. Practically evening. - with Grace curled into my armpit and snoring louder than Anthony after a drunken binge.
Granted, this is in large part due to the fact that on Tuesday I made the mistake of drinking a cup of French Roast at 2:30PM, thinking it would help me through my night of volunteering with Women for Women International. Instead, I sounded like I was on speed through the first two hours of my volunteering, and I couldn't sleep until about 2AM, even after watching The Terminal, a film that would have been much more delightful if the movie studio had been able to fire Steven Spielberg.
I swear, coffee for me is more potent than a couple hits of ecstasy. All night as I lay in bed willing myself to fall asleep, I was actually paranoid that all the new clothes I wanted from Eddie Bauer would sell out before my first paycheck from General Dynamic could arrive. Seriously folks. I got up at 1AM and went online to check. And then spent an hour rearranging my wish list into outfits. A good ELEVEN HOURS AFTER I DRANK THE COFFEE.
I think you now understand why both my doctor and dentist agree that I should not imbibe caffeinated beverages on a regular basis.
Needless to say, when my alarm went off at 6AM, I was not the happiest puppy. That was Grace, who was doing her cute little "circus dance," you know, that dance she does to show us how pleased as punch she is that we are awake and now able to take her for a walk. Or feed her. Or touch her even. Whatever, so long as we're paying attention to her.
And all that to say that last night I was in bed at 9PM and I'm an old fart.
What is going to make it all worse is that I woke up last night at midnight because Anthony still hadn't returned to occupy his half of the bed, and I started to worry and fret over all the reasons why he might not be home yet. Then I gave him hell when he walked in 5 minutes later, and continued to do so until 1AM. Grace then weaseled her way back onto the bed and into the mattress divet I'd been working on all night, successfully pushing me off the bed and onto the living room couch.
I woke again around 5:30AM to Grace staring at me oh-so-innocently, at which point I returned to bed for some of Anthony's generous BTU's and hit the snooze button until 6:30AM. That is when I discovered that Grace's oh-so-innocent look meant that she had left a huge pile of steaming poo on the ONE carpet in the house and I had just stepped in it. Mommy Ryan was not all that happy.
Yeah. So really, I feel like an old woman. For fun, we take the dog out for a walk and laugh when she nearly strangles herself over the sight of another dog. Then I come home and work on my scrapbooking or watch another movie from my Netflix queue.
To paint an even more flattering picture of our lives together, this weekend we have big plans. The temperature is supposed to top out around 70 degrees, and Anthony has planned for us to do a full cleaning of the house. Apparently, with two of us it should only take a few hours. Yes, yes, the fun never ends.
Granted, this is in large part due to the fact that on Tuesday I made the mistake of drinking a cup of French Roast at 2:30PM, thinking it would help me through my night of volunteering with Women for Women International. Instead, I sounded like I was on speed through the first two hours of my volunteering, and I couldn't sleep until about 2AM, even after watching The Terminal, a film that would have been much more delightful if the movie studio had been able to fire Steven Spielberg.
I swear, coffee for me is more potent than a couple hits of ecstasy. All night as I lay in bed willing myself to fall asleep, I was actually paranoid that all the new clothes I wanted from Eddie Bauer would sell out before my first paycheck from General Dynamic could arrive. Seriously folks. I got up at 1AM and went online to check. And then spent an hour rearranging my wish list into outfits. A good ELEVEN HOURS AFTER I DRANK THE COFFEE.
I think you now understand why both my doctor and dentist agree that I should not imbibe caffeinated beverages on a regular basis.
Needless to say, when my alarm went off at 6AM, I was not the happiest puppy. That was Grace, who was doing her cute little "circus dance," you know, that dance she does to show us how pleased as punch she is that we are awake and now able to take her for a walk. Or feed her. Or touch her even. Whatever, so long as we're paying attention to her.
And all that to say that last night I was in bed at 9PM and I'm an old fart.
What is going to make it all worse is that I woke up last night at midnight because Anthony still hadn't returned to occupy his half of the bed, and I started to worry and fret over all the reasons why he might not be home yet. Then I gave him hell when he walked in 5 minutes later, and continued to do so until 1AM. Grace then weaseled her way back onto the bed and into the mattress divet I'd been working on all night, successfully pushing me off the bed and onto the living room couch.
I woke again around 5:30AM to Grace staring at me oh-so-innocently, at which point I returned to bed for some of Anthony's generous BTU's and hit the snooze button until 6:30AM. That is when I discovered that Grace's oh-so-innocent look meant that she had left a huge pile of steaming poo on the ONE carpet in the house and I had just stepped in it. Mommy Ryan was not all that happy.
Yeah. So really, I feel like an old woman. For fun, we take the dog out for a walk and laugh when she nearly strangles herself over the sight of another dog. Then I come home and work on my scrapbooking or watch another movie from my Netflix queue.
To paint an even more flattering picture of our lives together, this weekend we have big plans. The temperature is supposed to top out around 70 degrees, and Anthony has planned for us to do a full cleaning of the house. Apparently, with two of us it should only take a few hours. Yes, yes, the fun never ends.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
A Few Things Have Happened
1. I was only right about 60% of the time on my Oscar picks. It hurts me that Crash won, because I sincerely felt there were 3 films much better suited for the Best Picture award. But at the end of the day, the good news is that Spielberg's straddling-the-fence crapfest, Munich, didn't win.
2. I recently accepted a position as a Process Analyst for General Dynamic (yes, Yael - who knew we would end up in related fields?), thereby solving all my health insurance woes. I am in no way qualified for this position, but hey, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh-darn-it, people like me. Anyway, the real test is going to come when I start attending graduate school full-time.
3. Also in the past two weeks, we adopted a kitten. Anthony wants to name him Damian because we are convinced he spawned from hellfire, but I'm sticking with Pookie. It has a nice, sweet ring to it to mask his real intentions. (Which is to destroy every plant in sight and make Grace's head explode from jealousy.)
4. There is still no update on my graduate school applications. Sigh.
2. I recently accepted a position as a Process Analyst for General Dynamic (yes, Yael - who knew we would end up in related fields?), thereby solving all my health insurance woes. I am in no way qualified for this position, but hey, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh-darn-it, people like me. Anyway, the real test is going to come when I start attending graduate school full-time.
3. Also in the past two weeks, we adopted a kitten. Anthony wants to name him Damian because we are convinced he spawned from hellfire, but I'm sticking with Pookie. It has a nice, sweet ring to it to mask his real intentions. (Which is to destroy every plant in sight and make Grace's head explode from jealousy.)
4. There is still no update on my graduate school applications. Sigh.
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