I just got back last night from a wonderful and well-deserved weekend back at home in Philadelphia. FLETC has really started to wear on the nerves of the entire CITP 301 class. People are cranky, without sleep, overworked, and fed poorly (after all, cafeteria food cannot really give you all that down-home nourishment you’ve come to expect after living all those years with mommy dearest)…and so on and so forth. I am not too proud to say that I too was one of them – until this last weekend anyway.

In the meantime, this past week found us with three more practical exams – all on the driving range. I aced everything of course, and somehow I managed not to get motion sickness on the Emergency Response Driving (ERD) course. Granted, this was also the test I worried most about because you have to hit all the turns precisely at a certain point, keeping your car on the road, and going about 80-90 miles per hour (did I mention that at this point all the tires are bald???). I only missed one “apex”, which is the point of the turn you have to drive directly over, within two feet of the side of the road. But the grading is all subjective anyway. I figure if you at least finish somewhere around the required 1 minute and 45 seconds, you should just get a 100. But I didn’t. For missing an apex, I got a 95. Yay!

There was also the Non Emergency Vehicle Operation (NEVO) course, which I didn’t think I’d pass because I haven’t had to parallel park since I took driver’s education classes back in high school. However, I actually lost points on backing down a narrow, windy “alley” (i.e. a group of cones that you painfully pretend is a narrow, windy alley). And the kicker? NEVO is actually timed…can someone explain to me why something with “non-emergency” in the name is TIMED???? Hmmmmm…

Well, whatever, I managed a 90 and moved on. 71 and a gun, baby…

The other course was the Skid course, which I think is impossible to fail. You just drive around on a wet track in circles until the instructor remote controls your car into a skid. You simply correct the skid and move on. This goes on for something like 20 minutes, and then you get a 100. End of story.

So that was the most exciting part of last week for ya. Your good friend (lover/child) Ryan is now permitted to take her ERD and NEVO and Skid out into the real world! Watch out!

Last week we also had a run through of our Arrest Warrant P.E., which I am glad to point out was a definite PRACTICE. During our second attempt at getting things right, I was in charge of a suspect who actually ran away… it’s a long story to say the least, but I will notify you all now that I simply had no clue as to what I was doing. The instructors kept looking at me as if this Rambo cop-crap actually comes naturally to people. Ha! That couldn’t be further from the truth.

But in any case, it certainly taught us a good deal about the proper way to conduct an Arrest Warrant and how to treat all the people we encounter when serving one. I now know how to conduct a compliant search of a person! Yay, just what you all were hoping to hear….

On top of that, we had to drive our suspects to the “jail” and book them. Yes, we took fingerprints and everything. It’s all very exciting stuff, I swear. And if I hadn’t just started week 7 down here in the bowels of hell, I’d say that this is about the most interesting learning environment I’ve ever come across.

Let’s see, last week also found us in a physical evidence lab, which is when you’re working as a team at a crime scene, trying to find all sorts of evidence to use in a case against your suspect. I believe my group did an excellent job in the time allotted to us: I was in charge of all the sketches and searching about 1/3 of the room. Then we had to note where all the evidence was found and so on and so forth. Good times…. Proudly I can say that we only missed one or two items in the room, and that was mostly because of time constraints.

Last Thursday was my friend and fellow Scorpio’s birthday. Sacha turned 29 and we all celebrated by making him walk to the G-Bar so we could buy pitchers of beer and, well, complain about still being at FLETC after six weeks (after all, last week it WAS week six). Of course, to warm things up, as soon as our interviewing lab was over, my friend Galo and I walked over to the G-Bar in our business suits and ordered a few rounds – we even treated a few of our instructors to a drink and some witty conversation. We broke for dinner (i.e. a good lining of the stomach to prepare for the coming Sacha celebration), and then returned promptly. See what you’re missing???

I think the only thing I’ve managed to leave out about last week was non-lethal techniques, which is now getting us into how we deal with non-compliant suspects. I am learning all the ins and outs of pressure points, jabs, uppercuts, and so on – basically all the same moves I learned from kicking the crap out of my older brother as a child. Seriously though, having Dan as an older brother certainly primed me for some of the moves, especially as a “suspect.” (In class we practice on one another, one partner is the officer and the other is the suspect.) There is one point at which the suspect tries to grab the officer at a high point (around the shoulders), a mid point (the waist), and then around a low point (i.e. the legs). Happily, I am the only one who managed to pick off my officer 3 out of 3 times. As I was partnered with one of the guys in my class, he has had no relief from the laughter and joking associated with getting your butt kicked by a girl. It amuses me greatly. In fact, they have even donned him a nickname: Out of Role. You see, when one of the role players is hurt, or some of your protective gear falls off (such as a face mask in simunitions), or your gun malfunctions, you call “out of role!” and the scenario stops. So, since I kicked John’s tushie, they now call him Out of Role. How humiliating…for him.

So that was my last week. Tiring, and still fulfilling in a small way. At the very least, it’s another week down. That is one less week I have to be here at FLETC. And that makes Ryan a very happy girl…

Almost as happy as she was this past weekend in Philadelphia. Sorry to all of you who actually live there and did not see me – I thought it best and most restful to spend time with my Vincent…I will be back around the area come December and should be able to find time for all of you then….

In any case, I got my fill of Geno’s cheesesteaks and cheese fries, with a birch beer to boot! And then I had my Campus Epicurean and my Mr. Martino’s…. by the way Catherine, I want you to know that Vincent finally fulfilled his promise of buying me some leather pants – it’s your turn!

Mostly I just relaxed. Vincent was great about that and made everything so easy and convenient. I was able to bathe for hours and I even got a massage! Who knows what sorts of wonderful things that boy will come up with next???

So now I am all sorts of happy and snug as a bug in a rug. This is the most relaxed I’ve felt since my first week here at FLETC. I am sure that a few more days of class will certainly fix that, but I still have Thanksgiving to look forward to… Mmmmm, turkey…

Okay, so, well, I’m running out of steam. 25 days and counting…