I can't believe it's only Wednesday.

Yesterday I bought a humidifier for George (a.k.a. simple house plant that Ryan feels the need to name - "I'm gonna love him and hug him and name him George," says the Abominable Snowman to Bugs Bunny in Looney Toons) and it turns out that I bought a cool mist humidifier. So what that means to me is that my room is now about the same temperature as it is outside, replete with the requisite breeze from the little fan on top of the filter. Oh, and the outside temperature? A whopping 35 degrees (Fahrenheit), although with the 14mph winds it feels like 26 (or so says my weather webpage).

On top of that, I purchased a string of Christmas lights for George, and after dropping a few branches - which by the way will never grow back - it now looks like I've strangled the poor thing. What a loving plant mommy I turned out to be.

So on Friday Anthony no longer gets to enjoy a nice evening of peace and comfort in the warm throes of my orange room. Instead he gets to have his nether regions turn into icicles whilst he unplugs the stupid humidifier and drags it back to CVS to exchange it for a warm mist model. And he also gets to help me get my Christmas ornaments and the like out of storage, and drop off a bunch of Vincent's things at the house on 13th Street. And he even gets to take me grocery shopping! Will the fun never end???

Christmas is coming...
Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please to put a penny in the old man's hat
If you haven't got a penny
A ha'penny will do
If you haven't got a ha'penny
God bless you...


So, we're ringing in the new round of holidays with songs from seasons past. I distinctly remember all the words to this song (above), despite the fact that the last time I sang it in concert was sometime in middle school.

Anyway.

As of today, I am completely finished with Christmas shopping and am on to Christmas wrapping. My family's gifts were all delivered by Thanksgiving, but it is the rest of you schmucks that took all this time to buy for. Well, actually, it isn't really so much your fault as it is the fault of the system that keeps me employed, but only pays me enough to barely cover my credit card bill these days. I now have to space out my holiday spending...which is something I don't think I have had to do since I was young, maybe even too young to remember.

Although I did finally get a tree, my friends. With all of Vincent's former rants about live Christmas trees being a terrible thing, and Anthony and Corinne's "Bah Humbug!" spirit, I bought a Norfolk Island Pine yesterday. These trees are native to Austrailia and New Zealand, and in their home environment grow to be about 100 feet tall. However, when kept as indoor trees in a planter, they grow to about 6 feet. My tree, George, is currently a 2 1/2 foot wonder. Today I plan on getting him a humidifier and some Christmas lights. He will be beautiful...!

Last night I also initiated my kind of Christmas season by watching the first of a whole series of Christmas movies! Vincent dropped off some CDs for me while he was in town and I talked him into a little bit of Frosty the Snowman. So I have had a half-hour taste of what my holidays will be like... Anthony, watch out! You are in for a whole slew of movies...Muppet Christmas Carol, A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life....all the Ryan-proof classics. And now that he has a cold (although he will insist he is well), I will be forcing him to sit down, relax, and do nothing but eat, drink, watch movies and be merry like Christmas!!!!

I am considering closing down my blog now after two years. I've actually stuck to writing in this weblog longer than I've ever staid with any one career. Now that's what you would call "irony."

Maybe I'm just tired of writing about my life in so public a format, or maybe I'm finally giving in to my own rhetoric about the bastardization of the English language through the use of technology, but no matter what, I know that I am tired of feeling compelled to write on a website that I don't know anyone reads (other than my Masshole, occasionally Yael, and my Mom). It would be just as easy, and a lot more personal, if I just took to handwriting letters to the two or three "readers" I have.

I don't know, we'll see.

In other news, my roommate Corinne took home a stray cat over the weekend. Yup, my apartment is now bedecked with FOUR cats. While I do think that it is incredibly benevolent of her to be actively protecting the lives of our furry little friends, I don't remember being asked if I wanted to turn into a crazy cat lady. And the potential for diseases, fleas, etc., etc., is huge. Even with isolating the kitty in our bathroom, that still leaves us all (including the three cats) open to contamination. I hate to be a hard-hearted, evil crust of a human being, but the kitty needs to go! Corinne promises me she will be on the phone today looking for a shelter for the kitty, but Anthony and I are making bets as to when the cat will actually be out of the house. Any takers?

I also just celebrated my 25th birthday. For most of my friends, who tend to be in the above-30 bracket, that means nothing, but for me, it means I survived a quarter of a century! We celebrated quietly, with a subdued dinner at Mr. Martino's Trattoria in South Philadelphia - Mark even threw in a free bottle of Martinelli's Cider as a gift. Most of the gang was there: Jason, Jimmy, Lisa, Erik, Tom, Javier, Corinne, and Vince (Anthony was delayed due to work, but made up for it the rest of the weekend)... It was good to see everyone sober.

I didn't do anything else all weekend. Anthony made me breakfast two days in a row and we also shared some special romantic time in the apartment on Saturday afternoon; I watched a bunch of Netflix movies; Derek Lee, his girlfriend Kat, and JJ came out to visit me on Sunday afternoon; and Anthony treated me to dinner at Friday, Saturday, Sunday last night (and I just finished the leftovers for lunch today). All in all, it was pretty quiet. Which is exactly the way I wanted it.

And now, there is nothing else I have to say. I'm still looking for that great next job, and planning for the holidays...

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday deeeeaaaaar meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!
Happy birthday to me.

Andrew and I spent Saturday night discovering just how low my tolerance for alcohol has really become. Three drinks into our delicately planned evening of sin and debauchery at the eighth annual Fetish Ball and I was already hammered. On Andrew's suggestion, when we left the Ball we headed out to Woody's, one of the premier destinations in the gay-berhood. And we called Anthony to come pick up the pieces.

All day Sunday was ruined for me - ruined I say! The kind of day I had was yet another reminder of why I hardly ever drink anymore. I slept on and off until four in the afternoon, in the hopes of outwitting my hangover, but silly me! My hangover must have lifted sometime during Sunday night, while I was attempting sleep again. And today I feel like I didn't sleep at all while some little sprite beat my body all over with a tiny, sprite-sized baseball bat. Ugh.

So for my birthday this weekend, just like I had originally planned, your favorite girl named Ryan will not be partaking of the alcoholic variety. As the owner of Mr. Martino's promised me a free bottle of Martinelli's Cider for my birthday, I will be partaking of that slightly bubbly beverage instead.

Enough said. I have to go pretend I can make it through Seventy's monthly Board Meeting. Good times had by all, I swear.

It's just another day in the office. I have a terrible headache, and have had it since I woke up this morning, so I am in no mood to do any work today. Unfortunately, an office of 3 isn't exactly the kind of situation in which you can totally slack off. People tend to notice things like me trying to catch up on sleep underneath my desk and other such stuff.

Yesterday I had the treat of some lunatic coming into my office and wanting to break into a board meeting so she could get the address of the law library. She thought the meeting sounded too "friendly" - as if that is a reason for her to be rude and interrupt the meeting.

No matter, I got rid of her after a half hour and now it's Tuesday. And it's 30 degrees outside. Yesterday I thought it was cold as I was walking to the gym, but this morning I felt like my head was going to freeze and then crack open (remember the headache?). Not so pleasant.

So what have I been up to lately, eh? Corinne (really, I was barely involved) held a Halloween party at our apartment, at which I only spent an hour before attempting to go to sleep (the elections had me working weeks straight, with no days off). Let me note the key word there: "attempting." At some point, for whatever reason, the party moved from the spacious upstairs living space to the stairwell outside my bedroom door. And drunk people are not quiet so I ended up being awake until about 2AM when I sent poor Anthony out to be my Enforcer. I was so pissed off (mostly due to the fact that I had work in the morning).

Other than that, the past few weeks have been devoted entirely to the elections process here in Philadelphia, where it was my job to organize a crew of volunteers, prepare them for their nonpartisan pollwatching activities, and then loose them on Philadelphia on November 2nd. What a pain in the ass! Need I say more?

This year we had the largest volunteer turnout we've had in the past 30 years or so, which is probably enough to say that it's the largest group of people we've had in the institution's history! I had no idea what I was doing, nor do I now really understand what happened, but it's all over now so I am attempting to recover. I still don't think I've caught up on sleep, and I may potentially be coming down with a cold but I'm fighting it every step of the way like the little hellcat I am.

Last weekend was my first few days off in a while. Just for spite (or perhaps because I really deserved it), I took off Friday as well. So, on Friday, I went to a spa and treated myself to 3 hours of pampering. Anthony had given me this spa certificate when I finished rafting the Grand Canyon (how sweet!), so I returned the favor and got him a drool-filled hour and a half aromatherapy massage (Swedish!). It was his first professional massage ever! (Oddly enough, after practicing for so many years on my mom's feet, I gave Anthony his first first massage - period.) I was so happy to provide him with something so special...

Then we spent the rest of the weekend in NYC, where I did nothing but eat, sleep and watch movies. We saw "Capturing the Friedmans," "Bob Le Flambeur," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," most of "The Fellowship of the Ring," and then went to the theatre with hundreds of squirmy little children to see "The Incredibles." Oh how I love lazy weekends where my boyfriend cooks for me!

The only other thing to report is the upcoming events (in the case that you're paying attention and actually want to know): this weekend is the Fetish Ball and, as a birthday gift to me, my friend Andrew is purchasing a ticket for me - last time I went as a naughty schoolgirl and Andrew once went as a priest, what will we think of next?; the following weekend is my birthday and my friend Derek Lee is coming into town to see family so we get to play!; Thanksgiving at my mommy's brand spankin' new house in MA with Anthony; Christmas in North Carolina, and a winter's end visit from the lovely Christy!

What fun!

Wednesdays at the Ritz
Did I tell you about Wednesdays at the Ritz? Each Wednesday night, I send out an evite to all my Philly-area friends and invite them to see a different movie at the Ritz Theatres (one of the best things about Philly is that it's main theatre houses are indie/foreign venues).

That being said, this past Wednesday we went to see John Waters newest journey into depravity, A Dirty Shame. I haven't really made up my mind about the movie. Like most Waters flicks, it reeks of campiness so you have to appreciate it from that angle at least. But the acting is always poor, and the dialogue here seemed more than a little contrived. Of course, there was a certain scene in a nursing home that made me simultaneously want to crawl under the seat in front of me and curl up into the fetal position, and laugh until I couldn't cry anymore...

Well, whatever. If you've liked Waters past films, then you'll likely enjoy this one. Most of the people in the theatre thought everything was hysterical - I'm just a little more cynical than the average bear.

The Job
So, not only am I working about five different jobs (in an office of three people, where there is a PR guy - i.e. the Executive Director, a writer - i.e. the Research Director, and me, I end up being the secretary, office manager, intern/volunteer coordinator, accounts payable, payroll, etc.), but now the concept of living from paycheck to paycheck is taking on a whole new meaning.

Each week we are one step closer to bankruptcy. And me, being the financial guru that I am (or that I am paid to be anyway) - I have discovered the one, inescapable truth: I never know if I will be paid. That's right folks. Because we are a nonprofit and depend upon the kindness of others to pay our bills and payroll, and because we have no money coming in, I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from. In two weeks time, I could be living on the streets.

So now I have the lovely task of finding another job because I don't want the stress of figuring out how I am going to pull my paycheck out of my tush. With all that is going on in my life lately - with moving, with Anthony, with work - it's going to become that much more hectic if I start an all-out job search.

But if that's what I gotta do, then that's what I gotta do. Wish me luck! Or send me your best contacts... (either/or really)

The Boy(toy)
Alright, I told him he wasn't my boy toy, but I know he'll get a laugh out of that one. If you haven't spoken to me in a while or don't pay attention to anything I say, here it is in print: I'm dating a very fantastic, kind-hearted gentleman named Anthony. We initially met in the New York Office of Diplomatic Security, right near the end of my time there. He was very shy, but somehow we staid in touch (and I cured him of his shyness too - if you don't believe me, just ask him about playing spin-the-bottle on the roof of my last apartment with my Philly friends). In any case, after Vince and I broke up, we started seeing each other. I have no idea what day you would consider our first "date," but we've been seeing each other for about 4 months now (that is, when he's not in the Sudan or Greece, fighting crime like the super hero he is). And although I'm not going into too much detail here, suffice to say that he makes me happy. To quote Anthony, "Very much so." (I am sure there are still one or two State Department people who read my Blog, and I've been avoiding getting the word out in my old office, but if they see this, they see this.)

The End is in sight...
Okay, so I'm really supposed to be working on the financial report for the Committee of Seventy right now, but I haven't been able to concentrate all day. As we get closer to the election, more and more phone calls come in, from increasingly crazy people. I actually had one lady call me yesterday and tell me I am racist because I told her she wasn't actually a member of the Committee. Ridiculous, I tell you!

In any case, that is neither here nor there. And I should be getting back.