1+1=3

Wedded Bliss
Originally uploaded by Pookah.

This is how Andrew crashes a wedding. Just as the happy couple finishes their vows and go in for the kiss, there's Andrew!

Okay, so maybe Andrew isn't that invasive, but he certainly got the lion's share of the love last weekend.

Mr. & Mrs. Dan are currently in Mexico, celebrating their new titles of Husband and Wife, but I was there when the magic happened (thank you, Andrew!).

And by "magic," I mean wedding (get your mind out of the gutter!!!). I have never before been to a Jewish ceremony - the closest being my cousin's Bat Mitzvah - and the singing was almost as beautiful as Eric's solo performances during the Seder dinners we had in college.

The day started with a few rain storms and the arrival of David from Germany - by way of NYC, of course. We introduced Andrew to Bloody Mary's, which are now his drink of choice, and lubricated our vocal chords with vodka.

Why, you might ask? Because we were all required to get out on the dance floor at the wedding and sing. I KID YOU NOT. As a group, we Penn people were called up to the "stage," each of us claiming that, "If I have to go, YOU'RE going," or, "Strength in numbers, guys, strength in numbers." The latter of which really wasn't true, though. I think it's official that only Andrew, Courtney and Dan know all the words to The Red and the Blue. I felt like a jackass swinging my arm back and forth Nazi-style (a little higher than it was supposed to be so as to avoid thwacking David upside the head), singing, "Hoorah, hoorah, Penn-syl-van-i-a."

But I get ahead of myself. All this Penn gusto was later in the day. We arrived at the farm with just enough time to talk to the wedding party, ask Dan where the loo was, and relieve ourselves of all that Bloody Mary goodness, before we had to find somewhere out of the way (all the seats were taken) so as not to take away all of Courtney's thunder on the aisle.

Nearly everyone did their catwalk before I realized I was taking lousy pictures because I forgot to turn the flash on. And then I was gearing up for some really great shots when the official photographer jumped in my way. If I didn't love Dan & Court so much, I think I would have beaten him to death with his own photo equipment (I say that in jest, mind you).

The ceremony was about a half hour, which I think is the perfect amount of time. Jeff and I once went to a wedding where we were a few minutes late and the wedding area ("area" because it was outside) was already cleared. Michelle, Vince and I have also been on time for a wedding that must have topped out at two and a half minutes, with the couple strolling down the aisle to R&B music.

In any case, the ceremony was really quite simple and heartfelt. Dan was telling me that his uncle officiated, and everything had to be repeated twice, once for Dan's family, and once for the rest of us who don't speak Hebrew. Did I mention how cute Andrew looked in his little Jewish skull cap? (Nobody take a fit now, I know it's a yarmaluke.)

Dan's uncle related a bunch of personal stories about Courtney and Dan, which is why if you've seen the pictures on Kodak Gallery, you'll note I've mentioned Blazing Saddles and Hook. The bride and groom's favorite movies were shown to be metaphors for how they look at and embrace life. It was all very deep, and also hardly audible as the acoustics in the farm weren't exactly at the level of a Rolling Stones concert these days.

But I enjoyed myself immensely.

That, however, may very well be due to the five or so screwdrivers that Andrew hand-fed me during the cocktail hour(due to the fact that they actually carded us at the bar - and I forgot my license!). It's either that or the soul-stirring rendition of What a Wonderful Life that David wooed Kevin with during the wedded couple's first dance. It was all very traumatic - I mean, romantic.

Have I yet mentioned our favorite HOTTIE, Heather? Well, I finally got around to meeting the girl who's most famous for making Kevin monogamous these past six months. We are still wondering how Kevin could keep someone SO HOT and not let us meet her until now.

(By the way, this HOTTIE thing I've got going on here with Heather actually has a story - when I met her at the pre-wedding luncheon on Saturday, Kevin kept saying to me, "Isn't my girlfriend HOT?" To which I responded, "Oh Heather, you're SO FRIGGIN' HOT. And now I'm going to tell you that every time I see you." So every ten minutes at the wedding, I told Heather she was a HOTTIE and Kevin just grinned and puffed out his chest.)

So there was dancing and the white-man overbite for Andrew, a little lesbian four-year-old who crawled under HOTTIE's skirt and then kicked her in the crotch (there's a way to NOT make friends), a live band, Dan & Courtney carried around on their chairs, a lot of watching David smoke out on the patio, a happy phone call to wish Martha a lot of "fucking" on her birthday, and a host of drinks.

Who was there, you ask? Well, a bunch of people I don't know, followed by a following from Penn, which includes me, David, Kevin, Andrew, that girl Jenny who was friends with Bjeorn and lived in Hill, her boyfriend Johnny (and NO, not Johnny Yau, Ben's favorite roommate - in fact, I have no idea who he is), and Akiva. There may have been more people from Penn, but I don't know them and I was so ashamed of my singing, I only saw the back of David's head.

The food was excellent, much like David's dancing, and we made friends with a beautiful red-head named Dana who was at our table. David was contemplating which stranger's bed he would attempt to be in by the end of the day, and she was definitely on his list. However, we were the last people to leave - other than the immediate family - and Andrew and I are pretty sure that the only two people that made it into the same bed that evening were Kevin and HOTTIE (they mentioned something about a Best Western, and Andrew and I kept a lookout to make sure they never entered the same bathroom during their "potty breaks").

So, we parked in a field. And at the end of the evening, after my failed attempt to steal a bridesmaid's purse (Heather told me it was Kevin's man-bag), we stood in that field like a bunch of schoolchildren out past our bedtimes. In fact, we were just trying to hide the certain something that certain someones shouldn't necessarily do out in the open amongst good god-fearing folk, but a few of us made it out of there a little happier, a little less drunk, and a lot more satisfied. The itch, as they say, had been scratched. (Let me just say here, for all future readers, both professional and personal - I did not partake. I am not of the partaking kind. Nor do I care if someone else is. So there's my awesome disclaimer.)

And while Kevin and Heather zoomed off for their evening of Best Western lovin', Andrew, David and I found our way back to my house for some instruction from my mother on how NOT to make an impression on my very impressionable friends. And while she was off getting us coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, we made some home movies with David and Andrew laying on my kitchen counter.

Those of you from Melslist, I have tried for two days now to email you those movies, but they have failed to send. Another day, another disappointment.

Anyway, I of course wish Dan and Courtney the best of love and happiness, knowing that each of them could never really be complete without the other. I have never seen two so deserving people find their right match. If I had another Bloody Mary, I'd say, "Here's to you, Dan & Court!" I might even add Andrew to the list, as he is such a big fan of tomato juice and tabasco sauce.