Me Fail English? That's Unpossible

However, it is totally possible for me to fail the Foreign Service Oral Assessment. I now join a fairly prestigious group of people who beat out approximately 16,000 people who started this process in April, and yet still managed to not be considered for hiring. At least, that's how the testing panel tried to console me so I wouldn't go postal a-la-Jason-Bourne and stick a pen through their hands before beating the crap out of them.

Needless to say, I really think it was due to the zit that erupted in the middle of my forehead. Or perhaps my need to wear a color instead of black. Maybe even my uncontrollable need to tell Ben's Momma jokes. I don't know.

And do you know why I don't know? Because they refuse to tell you how you fucked up - that might give you an advantage over other people who are taking the exam.

I think the real reason is that, if they had to actually quantify our scores, there would be no reason why all twelve of the people at the assessment yesterday shouldn't be hired. What I'm suggesting is that the results are purely subjective, possibly even politically motivated in some cases.

Actually, I was quite shocked to not be selected. I was under the impression that I kicked ass in all three sections of the assessment. I felt good, confident, ready to sign on. And they failed me. The consolation in all of this? All the people there yesterday are incredibly bright, over-experienced people. If they can't all pass, then at least I'm in good company.

So, five of us losers became a small posse and we headed out to McFadden's for happy hour when we were sure of defeat. We commiserated on the testing panels motivations, consoled each other, and even reminded ourselves that "we're good enough, we're smart enough, and goddarn it, people like us!" Finally we got over our shock (yay for $2 Yuengling), exchanged contact information and went our merry ways.

If only it were truly merry. Not only did I FAIL for at least 9 hours yesterday, but some asshole decided to try to kill himself on the train tracks during rush hour:

Man Hit By Green Line Train at Columbia Heights

(reprinted from Express, a publication of the Washington Post)

A man was struck by a Greenbelt-bound Green Line train at the Columbia Heights station on Thursday at 5:47PM. According to the Metro, the man was taken to a hospital but his condition was unclear. Trains single tracked around the incident, but there were significant delays. The station reopened at 6:36PM.

Do you know what that means? I was on one of their significant delays. I was one stop away from my house for at least a half hour. Why? Because some jackass thought that the best way to go out of this world was to make 500,000 people trying to get home after work really pissed off. Way to be remembered, my friend.

After being up since 4AM, it was just a lousy way to end a really lousy day.