The life of Ryan

I keep looking at this sad, silly Blog of mine and think to myself, “Shouldn’t you update that right about now? Because you know that millions of your most dedicated readers are just salivating at the prospect of your innermost thoughts and feelings being published to the internet.”

And then I say, “Oooh, look at that shiny piece of tinfoil on the floor!”

But I digress.

Since Christmas, there has been a new year and a few weeks without the pain of grad school. The most exciting thing to happen is that Anthony and I are under contract to buy a condo here in DC. Nothing is written in stone yet, but all signs point to home ownership by Valentine’s Day.

For those of you who haven’t called or written in quite some time (please, don’t bother with the guilt; if I was really crying myself to sleep at night, I would have called you, I promise!), the condo we’re trying to buy is a two-bedroom, two-bathroom (plus parking!) extravaganza about a block away from where we live now. We have big plans for what we want to do with it, but for right now we’re focusing on just getting moved in.

We also recently got into quite the passive-aggressive pushing match with our slumlord because the City finally woke up and threatened him with fines if he didn’t address the heating issues in our building or the fire code violations (Martha, you will be so happy to know that you no longer need a key to exit our building – no getting locked in the vestibule ever again!). Our slumlord decided that it was our fault that he had to spend money to fix all of his violations so he is no longer speaking to us and also decided to raise our rent for the second time in less than six months (that is an almost 29% increase on our original rent – if only he were constrained by rental control laws!). Basically, he wants us to pay for the money he had to spend because he doesn’t take his responsibilities as a landlord seriously.

So now the biggest hiccup with our condo purchase is moving into the new place before the rent increase goes into effect. Because I stand on my principles, gosh darnit. (Which in this case equates to me not paying that man a single penny more than he deserves. And by “that man,” I mean “slumlord.” And by “a single penny more than he deserves,” I mean “he deserves absolutely nothing, but I am legally obligated to pay him for this piece of crap apartment until we can move out.”)

That means I get to harass my realtor every day until we move and then I will have to send him a very big thank-you. I’m thinking strippers, but his girlfriend might not be all that happy about it. Anthony and I will have to clunk heads together and think about this some more.

It also means that I am inventorying our stock, and trying to sell everything under the sun. In fact, this weekend, one of my big plans is to take pictures of all the larger items that we can sell and post them on Craigslist. These things – the age-old futon that Anthony has had since college and has seen more ass than most of us can claim; the too-small bed that can barely fit one of us, let alone a six-foot-four Aryan god, a taller-than-average Ryan, and a mere 45-pound love-puppy that seems to expand to unheard of volumes while sleeping; the microwave that Anthony refused to part with even though most apartments come with a pre-installed microwave and if not, a replacement can be bought for less than $100; a window a/c unit; two televisions, etc. – will be replaced by newer things. At least things that are new to us and of better quality.

Of course, all this selling and shopping and packing must happen while I am simultaneously working full-time, attending school full-time, and maintaining my sanity by preparing for the glory that is the Oscars.

This semester I have upped the ante by taking on three classes: Public Policy Process, Refugees in Contemporary Society, and Public Finance. I am basically determining my own breaking point. How many different but high-priority items can I juggle at once? It’s like challenging my sanity to a duel –sounds like a good, fun idea at the time until you really sit down and think about it.
And that, my friends, is life in the old-fart lane.

By the way…
Highly NOT recommended reading: J.R.R. Tolkien’s Sanctifying Myth: Understanding Middle-Earth; by Bradley Birzer. It’s a short read, but Birzer takes all the fun out of The Lord of the Rings by talking about the religious background of the characters and events. Like all things academic, the details can be exhausting. It would be a lot more fun to just simply read a biography of Tolkien.

I will, however, say that the book does offer some insight into Tolkien’s character and way of thinking about his masterpiece. So if you are a true Tolkien-ophile, the book may appeal to you. The prose isn’t overly intellectual so it is not too dry a read. For me, it’s just unnecessary to know the symbolism at work. The Lord of the Rings is much a part of my childhood and it is not because Tolkien attempted to reawaken me to the glory of god, but rather because it is a beautiful and powerful epic about good vs. evil. There are characters to love and lands you wish you could see.

Me? I could live without the religion.