As many of you already know, I vacationed in the Northwest in July. I flew to Portland, Oregon to experience an increasingly rare thing: time with Martha. For those of you who don't know who Martha is, the explanation is simple: Martha was one of my famed roommates from the University of Pennsylvania and, more importantly, one of my closest friends. After obtaining her undergraduate degree in Spanish from Penn and her masters in Spanish from UVA, she is going to attend the University of St. Louis for her second bachelors degree: a BSN. However, it's not really St. Louis she's after; she will spend the next two years in Madrid, working towards her nursing degree at St. Louis University's sister school. When she completes her schooling, she will be licensed to practice in both the U.S. and the E.U.
With all these accomplishments under her belt, it's really no wonder why I would stalk Martha to the far Northwest reaches of the States. Since she was traveling to Portland for an oncology massage class, it made perfect sense for me to climb into her suitcase and travel with her. (Boy, was she ever surprised to see that, instead of clothes, she had only packed me! Talk about taking stalking to a whole new level!!!)
Anyway, I was on the ground in Portland for about six days and six nights. My first night in the city gave me an awful first impression that thankfully did not hold true for the rest of my stay. I arrived at my hostel to discover that they had mistakenly booked me for Saturday night instead of Friday night. As it was already late at night, I booked at the hotel where Martha and I would be staying for the rest of the week for an ungodly rate. The cab driver thought I took the upset quite well (surprisingly well, one could say) so you'll have to take his word on the matter. I managed to smile and partake of pleasant conversation even while being royally screwed. I think they call that "poise" in the pageant circuit.
The next morning did not start any better when I realized that they had canceled Martha's week-long reservation when they booked my room the night before. It took some work, and a little bit of Martha's happiness, but in the end, things got sorted out.
Most of the week was spent as an individual tourist, as Martha's class lasted from about 9AM to 5PM every day. My days were spent in pursuit of all things uniquely Portland, while my nights were spent hanging out with Martha and experiencing the culinary delights of this foodies' haven.
If you ever make it out to Portland, here is a nice convenient list of my impressions, recommendations, suggestions, and thoughts, served up Andrew-style (aka in numbered format):
1. Places worth the visit: International Rose Test Garden; Japanese Garden; Colombia River Gorge (even if, like me, you manage to accidentally delete all your pictures); Pioneer Square (just randomly visit at different times of day to see what the city's residents are up to – I managed to catch a transvestite show one day); Saturday Market; Powell's bookstore (basically, heaven on earth for the literate); Chinese Garden. 
2. Places not so worth the visit: Marquam State Park; the OHSU air tram; walking along the waterfront; getting a pedicure at Spa Sasse (can I say "Ow!"??? The pedicurist tried to treat my toes like a wishbone! Not relaxing at all…); every single coffee shop and café that closed their doors by 6PM.
3. Dining experiences that make Portland a culinary destination: Mother's Bistro (my all-time favorite); Half and Half; Sin Ju; Fratelli; Tea Chai Te; Pazzo's; and Mio Gelato. I am convinced there are more, but there was only so much I could eat in six days! (And, seeing as I spent at least one meal a day at Mom's (read: Mother's Bistro), there weren't a lot of places I tried.)
4. Dining experiences to avoid: even though we only tried dessert and coffee here, Martha refused to drink both the tea and coffee she ordered. My profiterole was only middling. This does not bode well for such an expensive place, supposedly renowned for its quality Northwest cuisine. The Heathman Bar and Restaurant wins the Tastes Like Butt award.
5. Random commentary: If at all possible, do not walk around Chinatown or Skidmore. The only reason to be in either of these places is to see the Chinese Garden or to experience the jeering and come-ons of homeless people. Although, if you are with Martha, it IS worth it. Then you get to watch as the jet-propulsion engine that is apparently stowed in her butt comes to life and she zooms across the street and down the block before you can say, "Scary homeless person!"
6. Totally necessary comment on the weather: The weather in July is absolutely exquisite. There really is no other word for it. Temperatures top out in the mid-eighties, but there is no humidity and you can comfortably wear a long-sleeve shirt all day. I returned home to 100+ degree weather, where the air had a viscous quality to it and immediately began planning my life out in the Northwest. If there is any weather condition that makes life unbearable, it's humidity.
7. The people: two things about Portland's population immediately jump out at you. First, there is a disproportionate amount of homeless people on the streets. The appeal of Portland is its temperate weather and the number of services it offers the poor and homeless. The city therefore attracts a lot of young runaways and older homeless people. Since there aren't a lot of people out on the streets at any given time of day, the homeless population becomes quite conspicuous. The second generalization about Portland's people that I could make very easily is that the city appears to attract a lot of society's outsiders. There are a significant amount of goth kids, heavily tattooed and pierced people, and grunge kids loitering about the streets. You leave the city with the impression that much of the rebellious fads pursued by teens in the 1990s never quite died out with the new millennium. A little less obvious, but still quite prevalent is the attitude of the people of Portland. They can be very Southern. By that I mean that asking a simple yes or no question will never give you a simple yes or no answer. Northwesterners are more likely to give you their life story before even getting around to your question. So be prepared for incredibly friendly people to chat, and chat, and chat, and…
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