Well, I met the Dalai Lama a couple weeks ago. And I have a story. Right before the U.N. General Assembly and all that chaos was to begin, the Dalai Lama was in town, giving his teachings and making his visits. His protective detail was orchestrated by none other than the U.S. Department of State Diplomatic Security Service (say that three times fast!). So, when he toured in New York City, they called on some of us schmucks to help pre-post some of the bigger events. Pre-posting is just what it sounds like: before an event, you post a site with people to control crowds and keep everything in check. Well, one day I was pre-posting at the lecture series at the Beacon Theatre. Myself and four other guys were sent to post the lunch site (which happened to just be upstairs in the Beacon Hotel) – lucky for me, I was put in charge of the schedule and post assignments (bet the boys loved that one!!!). In any case, there were four posts: 1. downstairs at the elevator bank, 2. upstairs by the elevator bank, 3. upstairs by the food preparation room, and 4. upstairs by the Lama’s room. At the point that the DL was coming upstairs to eat, I was talking with the guy upstairs by the elevator bank. Well, to get to his room the DL would have to exit the elevators to the left, take a left, followed by another left and continue down the hallway to his room. At the first left, you can also go right and there are three more rooms down that hallway. So Simon (one of my guys) stood right at that turn in the center of the hallway, essentially blocking anyone’s path in that direction. His back was to the elevators. I stood right at his back, against the wall and facing the elevators. When the Dalai Lama got off the elevator, there were two men in his party who walked out before him. Both of them got out of the elevator and turned left. Well, the DL stepped out, locked eyes with me, and instead of turning left and following his colleagues, he turned right into Simon! Needless to say, Simon was a bit surprised, having not seen that one coming at all. And I had to stifle a smile as I extended my arm in the other direction and said, “This way, your holiness.” Well, the DL wasn’t even remotely flustered and he grabbed my arm in a gentle death grip kind of way and just grinned.
After we saw him safely to his room, we decided that flesh on flesh contact with the DL was good enough for a blessing of five years, while flesh to cloth contact was only good for about two. So far, I was ahead.
When the Lama came out of his room to return to the Theatre, he did it again! First he stopped and spoke to these two random women who somehow got rooms on the same floor – one of them burst into tears as soon as he touched her! (I swear, the Dalai Lama is like a rock star in that way!) Then I was standing there again, pointing him in the right direction and he grabbed my arm and just held it for a moment, staring into my eyes and smiling. So, according to my and Simon’s theory, I’m good for another 10 years or so! Next thing you know, I’ll be blessing YOU guys!!!
So enough of that foolishness. You can now officially say that your friend/child/random acquaintance/lover Ryan is a totally ridiculous personality with enough randomness in her life that she jokes about the Dalai Lama.
While the Dalai Lama was in the Theatre, I called my mom. My mom and San (that’s my stepdad) had just seen the DL in Boston when he was lecturing there. So I wanted to call and let them know of my good fortune in getting stuck on his protective detail. They were awfully excited so I told them all about how I’d like to take one of the monks (there were about 50 of them on stage with the Lama at this event) home with me and keep him for the good karma. I had mentioned this to Simon and he regarded me as a total freak after that, but I knew my mom would understand (she always does – that’s what mom’s are for). There is just something about all those monks that really marks them as different, and I’m not talking about their clothes or the Birkenstocks. There’s an inner peace they just exude, especially the older ones. And the Lama tops them all. Boy, would I love to take him home!!! It would be so nice to have someone around all the time who exudes gentle kindness at all times. That must be terribly relaxing… Needless to say, anyone reading my Blog at this point couldn’t possibly understand what I’m trying to convey unless you’ve actually seen the Lama. Had I not met the Lama, I would be regarding myself as a total fruitcake right now…
On to the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA)! I can honestly say that in my lifetime, I hope to never have to do something like this again!!! It has been more than a week since my protectee left, and I still feel drained. But let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
I returned from my forty days with the Secretary’s Detail (another experience I hope never to relive) just in time to begin my work as an advance agent for South Korea’s Foreign Minister Yoon Young Kwan. I took one day off to go rub shoulders with “the Lama” (I often say that in my head much like you would say “the Dude” to Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski) but the rest of my time was spent scouting locations, writing site surveys, and preparing things for a detail of six people, none of which are from the New York area. Let’s just say that most of my days prior to the Foreign Minister’s arrival began early and ended very, very, VERY MUCH past my bedtime.
Well, my detail began on Sunday, September 21. FM Kwan’s plane landed and we were off! I had some excellent people on my detail, including two NYPD detectives, an ATF guy, a U.S. Marshal’s Service guy, two guys from the Miami Field Office, and our Shift Leader, a guy out of the Chicago Field Office. The only kink in our plans was the Agent-In-Charge (AIC), this guy out of the New Orleans Resident Office.
At first I thought the AIC didn’t like me, and then I realized that he actually HATED me. By the middle of the week he was telling my detail that I am incompetent and he was telling me how to put one foot in front of the other. Every time I did something, he had something critical to say. And it wasn’t in that nice, constructive criticism kind of way. It was more of “I’m right, you’re wrong, so just accept it” kind of way. By Wednesday I was ready to punch the guy every time I saw him. So we became like Clark Kent and Superman – never in the same room at the same time. If he was coming, I was going – and vice versa.
Unfortunately, the rest of my detail had to deal with him instead. He was incredibly disrespectful to my entire team and I was impressed with the professionalism my type-A personality guys were able to put forth when dealing with him.
Lucky for us, nobody outside our detail ever knew of our problems within. My contacts at the Republic of Korea Mission/Consulate were extremely pleased with our level of protection and often bought our detail lunch or dinner when we were out. Once, the manager of the restaurant even paid for our meal!
In the end, our detail was one of the smoothest running details at UNGA. Many of us became friends and we all were united against the AIC. At the wheels up party (it’s called wheels up, because the protectee is no longer under our protection once “wheels up” for the airplane has been called), we even drank a toast to our AIC – to not having him there, that is!
For those of you in the NYC area, I highly suggest the wine bar/restaurant we went to that evening: Vin, at the corner of Northern Blvd and 163rd in Queens. The food is excellent and wine is superb! I’m not sure about the cost since our NYPD guy arranged the whole affair (the owner is a friend of his family) and the owner picked up our tab, but I am sure it is comparable to some of your moderately priced New York eateries.
After a while, we moved our party to downtown Manhattan and the Lit Lounge, where Vince and I were meeting up with friends for the evening. My detail guys came and they staid until the 6’6” ATF guy over-consumed and vomited on the floor. Which was alright with me because, as I’ve mentioned in other Blogs, there is only so much of my true personality that these cop boys can handle. And I was READY to PARTY! All our NYC crowd was there: Starr, Dara, Mark, Brandy, Michael, Katherine… let’s just say the party ended around noon on Sunday, when a fairly hungover Ryan was escorted home in a red Maxima chariot by her knight in shining armor, Vincent. Many thanks to all who were there…
During all this UNGA craziness, Vincent also decided to initiate me to this new thing called Friendster. If you haven’t tried it out yet, I think you should – especially now, while you still don’t have to pay for the service. It’s more addictive than crack and all you’re doing is trying to increase your number of friends. Looking at what I wrote, I wouldn’t be interested in the service either, but I think you should go ahead and at least check it out. You never know. When we were at the Lit Lounge last Saturday (the 27th), I added the bartender to my growing list of friends as I ordered another drink and he asked, “Are you on Friendster?” So I grabbed his email address and I am now connected to over 100,000 people! I think I will eventually grow tired of it, but for now you can find me there at least once every couple of days. (Go to www.friendster.com)
Well, now it’s back to that job thing. I was wondering if any of you guys knew people in any of the following fields: music, publishing, television, radio, movies – basically, a lot of the visual and audio arts. I think my next direction may be to try and find a job as an assistant of sorts (or work my way up to that). And if any of you know someone I should know, then I would love it if you could act as a conduit and pass my resume on up the line. Or, if you have any suggestions for jobs, I’m all ears (and no Andrew, I do NOT want to be a trash collector). Just let me know.
Other things I’ve done lately:
1. I went to a taping of the Late Night with Conan O’Brien show. I haven’t had a moment to watch the actual show yet, but it is highly probable that Vince and I were on t.v.
2. Vince and I went out to dinner and a broadway show on Friday: Tao and Nine. Tao is this Asian inspired restaurant that looks an awful lot like Buddhakhan in Philadelphia. The décor is fabulous, but the food is so-so – I will not be back for a return performance. And then Nine is this show with Antonio Banderas, Mary Stuart Masterson and Jane Krakowski (from Ally McBeal). I enjoyed it a lot – there were many great performances, and Antonio can really sing. Nine was a solid dramatic piece.
3. Last night (Saturday) Vince and I attended our friend Toni’s play in Greenwich, CT. She plays Julia in Agatha Christie’s “A Murder Is Announced.” She was fabulous and I would have told her so immediately had she not run off and disappeared so quickly! We finally caught her in the parking lot outside of her home, pizza and car keys in her hands. Then we invited ourselves in and spent some quality time with her, her hubby Mark, and Leo (their new kitty!). After all this time apart, it was nice to catch up.
4. I now suffer from a head cold. Pure misery.
Alright guys, I am winding down…The exhaustion that comes with being sick is catching up with me and I want to stop writing so I’ll just give you some teasers to look forward to in upcoming blogs:
• Philadelphia visit, October 11-13
• Poconos and hiking, October 17-19
• Da’ Momma and the Maize Maze in Massachusetts, October 25-27
• Punkin’ Chunkin’ (http://punkinchunkin.com), November 2
• New Orleans with Mom and Joe, November 12-15
• Eagles game, November 23
• Thanksgiving and mom visits NYC!, November 26-29
What fun!!!
Okay, I’m leaving you now. I’ll see you next time. Same bat time, same bat place, same bat channel…
