How to Gouge Out One's Eyes without Even Trying

Step 1: Earn ivy league degree
Step 2: Work despicable job for exorbitant salary
Setp 3: Quit aforementioned lucrative job
Step 4: Maintain unemployment for no less than 6 months, harboring a wonderfully deep and profound depression alongside newfound hostility towards boyfriend
Step 5: Break up with boyfriend
Step 6: Flee city - i.e. the site of despicable job and failed relationship - and, having no prospects, take on very low-paying nonprofit job in new city
Step 7: Work 8+ hours a day in front of a computer, eating all meals at desk, in an attempt to straighten out a year's worth of finances that you didn't compile in the first place
Step 8: Never obtain a finance or accounting degree

I have now been doing the accounting for 2004 at work for three weeks, amidst answering the phones, drafting letters, supervising interns, etc. Can I just say how much I would rather be tossed out of a low-flying plane at this point???

Our accounts are in shambles. Nothing makes sense, entries are missing, check copies weren't made, and not once did anyone actually think it would be a good idea to make a detailed accounting of the big centennial celebration we apparently had over the summer! What a mess.

And here I am, left holding the strings...