Random thoughts

1. I pay what I consider a large sum of money to attend graduate school. Since the financial burden is totally mine, I am invested in every minute of classroom instruction. Therefore, it really irks my craw when my fellow students start packing up their books a few minutes before the class ends, thereby disturbing the professor's concentration and cutting class short. What is the pressing need, folks?

2. There is something strange about DC drivers. I’m an avid jaywalker and I learned much of my technique on the wild streets of Manhattan. This means that I am quite adept at judging the traffic flows so I can cross safely. So why is it that when a long line of cars is passing and I start walking out in the street, timing my cross to hit the lane of traffic just when the last car finishes passing by, that the LAST IDIOT in the line of cars decides to slow down or stop because I am in the road? (Maybe more to the point, why is it that I am so friggin’ neurotic that this incidence actually causes my blood pressure to raise significantly?)

3. And while we’re talking about DC people, I need to comment on the subway travelers. These people really need to take note: do NOT cut me off and then slow down. Do NOT wander aimlessly on the platform and effectively cut off all foot traffic – some of us need to actually GET SOME PLACE. Do NOT stand to the left on the escalator – it makes you look like a tourist, and EVERYone hates tourists (I’m also trying to catch my train) – the right hand side is for your unmotivated arse. Do NOT bum-rush the train as soon as the doors open – people are trying to get out. And last but not least, do NOT block the doorway and then get your panties all in a wad because I take my New York-acquired attitude and slam it right into your body so I can get on/off the train.

4. This is beginning to remind me of Ben’s freshman year “Bitch List.” Oh, how I miss Ben’s “Bitch List.”

5. This is also reminding me that I really need to learn how to take it easy. I can physically feel an ulcer forming when some stranger does something really small and trivial that pisses me off. Anthony just laughs at me and all my frustrated, but successfully restrained, bouts of anger (which of course, makes me even angrier). He thinks I’m ridiculous and I rather agree. Unfortunately, that doesn’t do a damn thing for this ulcer I’m workin’ on…

6. Gilmore Girls. This is my new saving grace during the semester. I will work a solid 6 hours on homework if I promise myself I can watch an episode when I’m done. It’s THAT good, folks.

7. I went to an information session for the Masters International Program at GMU last night. One of my professors is the President of the National Peace Corps Association so the school took advantage of that and asked him to talk to students interested in the program. In any case, it was a great reminder about why I signed on to this program in the first place. I am really excited about traveling and living abroad, working on issues of some significance. I am sure that other people have said it better, but I am really looking forward to carving out a career that enables me to directly help other people. It is my hope that this degree and my (potential) experience with Peace Corps will help me focus on a particular issue, but for now I am really enjoying learning more about the world around me and absorbing all the lessons I am taught in class. And although I am tired, cranky, and suffering from insomnia, I know that this will all be worth it in the end.

8. You know, I really miss my girls. All my life, I was convinced that I really got along better with guys, but now that I live in DC and none of my closest girl friends are near, I realize that the girls that I have known have been the best friends of my life. I miss tea breaks, sleepovers, small dinners, late night drinks and conversation, “runs” to Baskin Robbins, roadtrips…all the pieces of my life that color my happiest memories. So ladies, I am taking the time out to express my appreciation for the rewarding moments you’ve given to me. Thank you: Michelle, Christy, Katie (yo Petes!), Pookah, Mel, Martha, Joanna, Yael, Estee, Jenn, Apeface…you are the rockingest chicas on earth.

9. Andrew is loving this right now. All these lovely, itemized thoughts… How’s your OCD enjoying my ode to its limitless stores of neuroses, Masshole?

10. Ever have those moments when the amount of knowledge you DON’T have really starts to overwhelm you? When you feel like you need to keep reading in order to make a dent in it all? Some days I feel like I am so far behind my peers in terms of knowledge of worldly affairs, and that this will somehow correlate to me not getting into a career that I will love – as if I can’t attain job satisfaction because no one will hire me because I don’t know the exact year the last war in Rwanda broke out. I know, it’s absolutely crazy, and probably makes less sense on paper than it does in my head, but I keep searching for more articles, more journals, more think tanks – as if somehow all that knowledge, if I could only memorize the facts and figures and spout it all out at the right moments, would bring me to the right place, at the right time, with the right people, and determine the rest of my professional life.
I know, I know. I’m totally weird. (And Andrew is right now telepathically sending me this message: “RELAX. Jeez!”) But I can’t help thinking that I should be much farther along in my career of choice than I am, that I should have more of the answers, that this isn’t the end of the road for me – there’s something more, if only I could grasp at the right straws…
I don’t know. Life is all sorts of insane like that.