Select Southern Sayings for March

I have been derelict in my duty to keep you updated on all the southern sayings of the day, but I clearly have had too much to do with the new job to keep up with my Blog.  Hey, it happens...

So, without further ado, a few select sayings for the rest of March:

Stupidity
If dumb were dirt, he'd be about an acre.

If you're referring to the time you chewed out someone, you might say...
I preached his funeral.

When referring to someone who is uppity, you might say...
She's the honey, but the bees don't know it.

Serious problem
Now ain't this a fine howdy-do.

Stinginess
He's so tight that when he blinks, his toes curl.

A sweet talker
She can talk the legs off a table.