See? I Can Post...

Andrew (just scroll down to the M's) gets so upset when I don't post every day that I feel this overwhelming need to write fairly often, and if I don't, Andrew is sure to email me and whine about actually having to work those two minutes a day it would take him to read my Blog. So this boring mass of an entry is dedicated to you, Andrew.

I must admit it is hard to compose something really brilliant to say when your life consists of laundry and grocery shopping and keeping my menopausal mother happy by taking the dogs for a walk at noon and five p.m. each day so she can avoid the humidity like the plague (can anyone say "hot flashes?"). I'm not like Erin, who has something to say about everything. Hell, if it weren't for the fact that the television is on the news at the gym when my lazy arse is on the treadmill at six in the morning, I don't think I'd even know what was going on in my back yard. (Sincerely, I would try to be more involved if I could believe in my heart that the American news media - both television and print - is unbiased and unsensationalistic; I mean really, when did the comings and goings of Brittany Spears become important to CNN?)

In any case, I have no hot topic of conversation to lay out for you. I'm just a boring, boring, BORING woman who just happens to be planning her fourth move in less than a year. The biggest news I've had all week is that one of the temp agencies I've applied at has found me something to do for the next three weeks. At least those few hundred dollars in my bank account will have some friends soon.

I'm not sure I mentioned it, but Anthony and I are also planning on providing my mother with a grandchild - of the four-legged variety anyway. Once we get settled in D.C., we're going to get a Doberman Pinscher pup. The big debate right now is what to name her. Everything we come up with, my mother hates. It's gotten so bad that our conversations sound like this:

"Please don't name her Mathilda. If this is going to be my only grandchild, I don't want to call her Mathilda."

"Mother, why don't you take this up with Anthony? It's HIS dog after all."

"I hate the name Mattie. I'm not calling her Mattie."

"Then call her Tillie."

"Well, Tillie's okay. How about Ida? Or Boobie?" (YES, THE WOMAN SAID BOOBIE.)

[reaches one hand out as if to grab the chest of an over-developed teenage cheerleader] "Yeah, I can just see it now - Boobie, sit! Boobie, stay! Boobie, come here!!! The neighbors will love it."

This of course is followed by another round of dozens of completely inappropriate names. Not that any of you are surprised. This is, after all, the woman who told Kevin over the telephone that she was sprouting nipple hairs - the better for men to floss with, she said! Such a delightful woman. (And now you all know where I came from...)

We are now thinking of names like Anca (which is elvish for "jaws") and Suka (which is Polish for "bitch"). Anthony is not too keen on the latter, but I think his stepdad, who happens to be Polish, will find it highly amusing. And who else will know Polish anyway?

Anyway, it's a lot easier than, "Mathilda, attack balls!" (which is the one command I want my baby girl to have down like a pro - it will come in quite handy while we're traveling the world).

At the same time we get the dog from a breeder, we plan on adopting a kitty from an animal shelter. I've been cruising the net for humane societies in the D.C. area and have decided that it is going to be very difficult for me not to adopt a handful of kitties while I'm there! Anthony insists on a kitten, but how can your heart not go out to the older kitties who are considered special needs because no one wants to adopt an older pet - everyone just wants the flashy, new model! There was a Petco in NYC that had kitties in cages at the front of the store, on loan from a local humane society, and I fell in love with this great one-eyed cat. Really, how can you not want to open up your home to a little furry creature that has no other hope? It's like starving Somali babies, really. Except that animals don't have a choice, like humans do. Domesticated animals rely on us for food, water, shelter, and love. They have been bred to live in houses, not street corners. They need us to make the decision to spade and neuter, and not to get rid of them just because we're moving or don't want to deal with a pet anymore.

In any case, it's just terrible. And I'm going to want to adopt a whole HOUSEFUL of kitties, Mr. Anthony. Here's to beating him down with my arguments.

Other items up for discussion: travel. Two exciting tidbits lately, one being Las Vegas and one being Russia. Although I don't find Las Vegas even remotely interesting in and of itself, the fact that about 8 of my friends from college may all be heading out there this November to crash and burn makes it all that much more appealing. It's one of those East meets West kind of thing, although it's nowhere near the middle. With any kind of luck, I'll be employed in D.C. by then and be able to afford to travel with my agent, one Ms. Mel, and all the other East-coasters. Only time will tell.

As for Russia, my mom's friend Denis, who is a Russian by birth, recently got married and coincidentally got his greencard. Which means he can visit home again and host another ceremony in Moscow with his family in attendance. Which means that my mom and I can crash the party. YAY! We expect the bride to be making her plans for sometime next spring or summer and will be relentless in our pursuit of an invitation. You'll have to stay tuned to see if this one pans out.

Other than that, I am still waking up at 5:30AM to hit the gym and wishing that the construction workers at my mom's housing community would stop staring at me like they'd never seen a walking vagina before (one of the supervisors stopped by the house yesterday to check our vents and my mother felt the need to be my bodyguard and stand between him and I for his entire visit - I am highly amused, as if he didn't actually have five grandchildren, and as if I haven't been trained to kill any man who tries any of that funny business with me!) .

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free

I just sent Anthony packing after dragging him to the worst movie ever at the Strand last night. I wanted him to have the experience of seeing a movie at the Strand, which is this wonderful old theatre on the main street of town that was reconstructed and refinished about ten years ago. Unfortunately, the choices were the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (which he refers to as the Sisterhood of the Traveling Tampon, and my mom agrees that a movie of that title would at least have more entertainment value) and Bewitched. Since it is a second-run theatre and has only one screen, there is only one movie playing each week. We waited for Bewitched and were sorely disappointed - although I only got him in there by telling him that he could buy beer at the concession stand and saying, "At least Will Ferrell is in it."

Clearly even Will Ferrell couldn't make the movie any more watchable. Anthony kept grabbing my leg and snickering during the really poor scenes, which only served to drive me more batty than the movie could. All I can say is that it is unfortunate that such time-honored and excellent actors like Shirley MacLaine and Michael Caine should feel the need to stoop so low. And this movie just continues to prove how abysmal an actress Nicole Kidman is (has she played a role in any movie that I've liked??? I'm looking through IMDB right now, but can only find Moulin Rouge, which I loved!, though through no fault of her own).

In any case, Anthony is gone now and I think the movie chased him away.

Either that, or he's gone to North Carolina to visit his family before he has to report for work in a week.

In my own news, I am starting a new job next week through a temp agency. It's administrative in nature and should pay the bills for the next few months or so until I can move down to D.C. (The job hunt for that neck of the woods still continues.) The downside is the 45 minute drive to Natick in morning traffic and the fact that I will have to work with someone who made a very BAD first impression on me. We'll see if it gets any better. It must be better than sitting on my ass all day, looking for jobs and feeling sorry for my bored self.

I also joined the local gym two days ago. I needed some more motivation to get moving, which the construction workers outside my bedroom window aren't giving me. (Did I tell you that I wake up to the sound of jackhammers or banging or clapping or unoiled machine part screeching every morning?!!) So I've now worn out my right forearm somehow and I'm looking forward to more abuse tomorrow. If I can get back into some sort of schedule of work, gym, and applying for D.C. jobs, I think I'll be able to comfortably get back into some of my clothes (not that I'm a heifer by any standards, but things have been a bit snug around here, what with all the visits to Dairy Queen! - yes, I always pronounce it with an exclamation point - and all).

Other than that, my corner of the world is pretty quiet. Andrew and I are attending the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. Dan Carp at the end of the month, and I am still expecting Darwin and Emma sometime in the first week of September, but the next few weeks are quiet.

How Do I Love Thee, Erin? Let Me Count the Ways...

This past week, Erin posed these questions:

1) Are we really supposed to be with just one person for the rest of our lives? With all the people in the world, can we actually settle on just one?

2) Even if we do fall in love and find a life partner, is it really in our human nature to be completely faithful to him or her? Especially with regards to men, can they honestly be expected to maintain complete fidelity?

3) The timeless question - can men and women ever truly be "friends"? Isn't at least one of the people always attracted to the other, and secretly lusting for him or her?

And here's what I have to say:

1) I think YES. Some people hit it right on the first time around, and others spend a lot more time shopping around, but I think that it is SO POSSIBLE. I think the problem comes in with question no. 2, in which I think fidelity entirely rests on the couple's motivation toward the relationship. When things aren't going well, I think it is easy to fall into the arms of someone else who appears to be more caring, more giving, more whatever of what you need at the moment. What I think most people will find is that the infidelity is never worth it, it is never as fulfilling as maintaining a strong, monogamous relationship (although I could be wrong here).

2) I don't think that men are any less able to maintain fidelity than women - I think women are just a lot less likely to admit it (for a variety of reasons - social pressures being one). I have definitely been with other men while dating someone else exclusively, and I like to think of it as an entirely experimental time in my dating life. What I learned was that I really don't like that kind of relationship, that kind of "excitement." I much prefer the one-on-one I currently enjoy with my Anthony.

And to weigh in on the side of men, I think I can honestly say that I know several guys who have NEVER and will (probably) never cheat on their girlfriends. Somehow the guys I tend to be friends with are the kind of guys who aren't capable of that kind of behind-your-backedness (don't you just love made-up words?). Having worked in law enforcement, I definitely know too many dirty secrets and am not entirely naive in thinking that men are angels, but I know plenty of women who can't walk the straight and narrow either.

3) Ahhh, When Harry Met Sally...can men and women ever truly be friends? I think the answer is defintely YES. The reason I say this is because sometimes two friends can actually have no physical desire for each other - it's a chemical-biology type of thing. For instance, if my friends are actually reading this - Nischay/Eric/Ben/Jeff/Andrew: did you ever think about sleeping with me? I honestly don't mind if you have, but I can't imagine that the thought has crossed all of your minds (or any, for that matter). Not to be rude, but I really don't think of you guys like that.

Alright, my work here is done.

Chile Peppers for Everyone!

I'm sitting here in the kitchen watching Anthony and da' Momma cut up chile peppers and onions. My eyes feel like they are BLEEDING.

In other news, I have spent the past two weeks traveling between New York and North Carolina so I haven't exactly been up to date with the whole blog universe. I ate a lot of BBQ, drank a lot of beer, and watched all of Anthony's shoebox apartment get packed up by the slowest friggin' movers of all time. Real exciting stuff.

Most interesting for me, the eternally unemployed, is that I found out last week that I passed the foreign service written examination. I now am embued with the opportunity to take the oral assessment, which determines my eligibility for becoming a diplomat for the State Department. YAAAAAAY ME!

Hmmm...what else? I saw my favorite stud, Kevin, and my favorite Tsunami Aid baby, Mel, on Monday - everyone took time out of their days to expense account my breakfast. It was GLORIOUS.

I also learned that Kevin will be attending the infamous wedding of Dan and Courtney later this month, at which I will be the blushing date of our very own Andrew! Do I hear "reunion?"

Okay, I am seriously drowning in my onion tears. My brain will not function at a higher level at the moment. I must run. Away. From. The chile peppers.

I Stand Corrected

As was pointed out by the two comments earlier, that forward I received yesterday that had commentary attributed to Anne Graham was not entirely correct. The actually interview went like this (thank you, Yael):

Jane Clayson: I've heard people say, those who are religious, those who are not, if God is good, how could God less this happen? To that, you say?

Anne Graham Lotz: I say God is also angry when he sees something like this. I would say also for several years now Americans in a sense have shaken their fist at God and said, God, we want you out of our schools, our government, our business, we want you out of our marketplace. And God, who is a gentleman, has just quietly backed out of our national and political life, our public life. Removing his hand of blessing and protection. We need to turn to God first of all and say, God, we're sorry we have treated you this way and we invite you now to come into our national life. We put our trust in you. We have our trust in God on our coins, we need to practice it.

However, what I said before still holds true for me. There is someone else out there who put that forward together, and then there is a whole group of people out there who continue to send that around, believing, if not it's source, then at least it's words to be true.

At the same time, I still think that the forward contains some essence of Anne Graham's sentiments. She may not have been as aggressive in her approach, but it appears to me that she is still saying that because Americans have asked God to stay out of our public lives, 9/11 was allowed to happen and now God is angry over the tragedy. She is still trying to push her faith on all of America in her own way, and I think that is a mistake.

In any case, Anne, I owe you an apology for misconstruing your words in my earlier post.

Expert Hikers

Expert Hikers
Originally uploaded by Pookah.

I spent a lovely Sunday climbing rocks at Purgatory Chasm and then painting rocks at Christy's home. This shot is of my godchild Sarol and Christy navigating some tricky tree roots (or, as Christy calls them: branches).

While I Do Not Claim To Have A Lot, What Little Intelligence I Do Have Has Been Offended

This morning, I received an email forward from someone I don't even know (every time my friend Laure sends out a group email - this time to let us all know she moved - the group starts hitting reply all and I get a lot of information about people I don't really know) and it really offended me. Mostly because the original speaker would like to believe that we should all take her at her word. My two brain cells, which have been rubbing together to create a little bit of friction up there, are offended.

The email went a little something like this:

You might have seen or heard this particular interview before, but it certainly needs to be reread especially in light of the bombings in London.

In light of the many perversions and jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her, How could God let something like this happen? (regarding the attacks on Sept. 11). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.

She said, I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

I think Anne Graham believes us all to be morons. For some reason, she is operating under the assumption that if we aren't teaching our children the Bible, or if we don't believe in the Bible, then we operate on a completely different value system. Apparently us non-believers don't know the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral. We prefer to teach our children to despise differences, and we're standing outside of every Walmart handing out semi-automatic weapons to anyone over the age of 5.

Just because I don't believe in the Bible, that doesn't mean that I don't agree with some of it's morals. Just because I don't think that school-led prayer in the classroom is appropriate, even demoralizing to children of certain faiths, that does not mean I think God or religion has no place in peoples' lives. And just because some extremists decided to terrorize Americans on 9/11, that does not mean that I believe that teaching the Bible in our schools would have changed a damn thing.

Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problem with a class on religion in our schools, whereby all the major religions of the world are explored, but FAITH is not a matter of science and learning. Prescribing a faith to someone is NOT something that should be taken on by the school - it is an individual CHOICE. It isn't as easy or incontrovertible as 2 + 2.

As for the comment on Dr. Spock and his preference for not spanking his children, I think it is highly inappropriate to pass judgement. I know plenty of well-adjusted people who were both spanked and never spanked. I didn't even realize this was an issue that religion was dealing with - is Anne Graham saying we should all spank our children? Should that practice be reintroduced into our schools? I'm not really sure where she was going with that...

In any case, Anne Graham is working off of a lot of assumptions and telling people we're all being punished by war and terrorism because we aren't paying attention to the Bible and to God. Do you realize that those men who crashed those planes into the world trade towers thought they were on a mission from God? God is not as clear-cut as we would like to think.

Most of the wars in history have been fought in the name of God, and every one of these crusading soldiers BELIEVED he/she was right. They prayed, they worshiped, they carried their religious paraphanelia with them into battle. How can you say that it is by our neglect of God that "the world is going to hell?" What does that mean? What does that solve? And who's God are we supposed to worship to gain peace on earth?

Personally, I don't believe it's possible. I believe in the yin and yang of life - there will always be moments of great happiness, and they will always be balanced by moments of great sorrow. Whether or not you choose to believe in a deity or god, your life will be full of both extremes and all the moments and emotions in between. If we did not know sadness, would we really appreciate the good in our life? I tend to think not.

We humans are capable of so many things - we are such imperfect beings. There will always be war, famine, poverty, violence, crime... But there will also always be love, laughter, sunshine, hugs, family, friends. I don't need to believe in God to make that happen for me.

Of course, I am always open to the discussion - so long as it IS a discussion, and not just a monologue that presupposes I am going to hell for never having read the Bible. I don't like being preached at or disdained for my belief system, which is probably why a lot of people avoid discussing religion (and politics). Too many people cannot communicate their ideas without passing grave judgement on you and your character.

In any case, Anne Graham, I think you're missing a good portion of understanding, forgiveness and open-mindedness. And Sheri, thanks for the email.